Winnie's Blog

I am not the Expert; Here’s why:

I am not the Expert; Here’s why:

I have a confession to make.  This is the first time that I attempt to blog after four years have gone by, because a) I had a ghost writer that helped me keep up with the blogging and b) as much as I desire to write, I have no idea what to say sometimes.  So I hope to continue this blogging however I do admit some fear and trembling as I begin again. 

For those who don’t know what a ghost writer is, it is someone who speaks with you about a topic and then writes as if it was you.  You will notice in previous blogs that I would collaborate with Sharon – those were the times that she wrote and I’d edit; and other times she would collaborate with me and those were the times that I would write and she would edit.  It was a great partnership at that time. My apologies if this disappoints some of you.

 And then secondly, to confess that there is a fear in writing. Yes, therapists have fears too!  This week someone responded to me with “I trust your judgement, because you are the expert!”  Yikes!  That statement makes me nervous.  When I was taking my Master’s, the professor was adamant that as therapists we are not the experts of our clients’ needs.  I can agree that in my studies and through experience, I may have gained some expertise, however let me make it very clear that you, the client, are the expert of your situation and how you feel, think and experience what you are experiencing. I try my best to engage with you so that I have a clear understanding your situation and I may challenge you to look at things from another perspective. But you know your situation best!  I also believe deeply that each one of us given life, has the capacity to live it to its fullest.  We may need to grieve pain in your present experience, or process your childhood or traumatic experiences or learn more helpful coping skills but deep within you, you have the capacity to live your best life.  It is my responsibility when you come in to my office to help you navigate that fullness of life.  We engage in a partnership when you come in.  You are courageous to begin this journey!  

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Principles for Real Living:

  1. I am responsible for my own attitude
  2. My attitude affects my actions
  3. I can not change others, but I can influence others
  4. My emotions do not control my actions
  5. Admitting my imperfections does not mean that I'm a failure
  6. Love is the most powerful weapon for good in the world

Desperate Marriages by Gary Chapman, Northfield Publishing, Chicago 1998, 2008